How to let someone go with 14 Whys & 22 Ways

How to let someone go with 14 Whys & 22 Ways


Many individuals battle with this issue since others may be concerned if leaving someone behind is genuinely the correct option. We consider ourselves weighing our intentions and thoughts, and we question how to let someone go without causing pain or discomfort for ourselves or others.

How can we know if we were correct to make the right decision in the first place?

I know some of these questions may reappear in your brain as you think if you should let go of someone. Let’s delve a little deeper into the ideas to help us evaluate the situation and possibly accept our thoughts.

Why and how to let someone go I love

Someone might think that ‘Love is what’s important,” which is very logical in any healthy relationship. However, each person is distinct, with their personalities, histories, identities, demands and wants. They are almost certainly not going to get along well with everyone else they meet, and the same case applies to us.

Some couples walk together through thick and thin for decades upon decades due to their love being more profound than you could delve in one lifetime. On the other hand, some partners can no longer be together after years of attempting to make the relationship work.

Thus, precisely what is it about this love that makes it so strong in the first place?

A piece of practical advice on this is that answer is relatively straightforward.

Love is a mixture of many things, including being with someone with great chemistry. When the two of you are in sync with one another, it feels like you are soulmates.

However, you also feel like an individual is so hard to understand, and their behavior can be puzzling at times.

Loving someone means that aspects of the relationship will sometimes prove to be complicated or challenging, but it doesn’t mean that you should give up on your love.

If love were easy, then everyone would have as many soulmate partners as they want.

However, it is not something you can turn on and off at your convenience. It is about committing to the relationship, even though moments of discomfort or pain may be brought into the equation.

Make peace and evaluate yourself

First things first, you may need a little time to yourself. Try to understand your heart a little better. Evaluate and accept your emotions and thoughts about letting go.

The best course of action for some is being alone for a while – at least several days or even weeks to really dig deep and get your thoughts together and consider what is best for you. It will allow you time to accept any feelings that come into play regarding the final decision you make and can help strengthen your resolve.

If you are still afraid to be alone, then consider talking to a friend or family member who can support you during this time. While it is alright to speak to someone, the person must discuss this objectively without any bias towards the other person to be beneficial for you.

Evaluate your “Whys” with this 14 Questions

Once you have taken this step forward, you can begin to evaluate your situation a little better.

One of the things that people often overlook is talking to their ex-partner about why they should let go of them in the first place. It doesn’t mean calling up the person and rehashing how much they have hurt you or asking why they cheated on you.

Instead, you should take the time to come up with a list of reasons why they might not be the right person for you in the future and ask them if they can think of anything else that may support this conclusion.

However, it’s important to note that even though there is no set number or specific requirement for this list, it should be a combination of things rather than just one issue.

Think about the things that have been making you unhappy for a long time, which have slowly caused your love for this person to fade away.

Here is a list of whys that you can ask yourself to help you with the evaluation process.

My needs are not provided

Every human being has different characteristics which require fulfillment in a relationship. These needs can be physical, psychological or emotional nature and need to be fulfilled by your partner for you to feel loved and satisfied, which is why you are in a relationship in the first place.

Seeking my needs from others

It usually happens when one person in the relationship feels like they’re not getting all they want and need from their partner, and they begin to look for this in someone else. It can be perilous because one who seeks options will likely risk the relationship to get what they need.

Unsupportiveness, pessimism and negativity

There has to be patience, understanding for the partner’s limitations and shortcomings, and being able to forgive them. It is a matter of trust and a need for you to feel safe and secure with your partner and know that they will be there for you when you need them.

In other words, do they find it easy to criticize your negative traits and still think of themselves as a good person? Or do they put their own needs first and foremost rather than caring about what makes you happy?

Accept this person as they are

It’s expected that within a relationship, people change because of new interests or experiences they share; you will also get to know them better for their flaws over time. However, many times, people tend to forget that they love the person for who they are.

Think about whether you are willing to accept all their flaws. If the answer is “no,” you need to reconsider as acceptance is essential in any form of love.

Do we have a common purpose

Having a common goal is extremely important in any relationship for you all to move forward. If you don’t have anything to work towards together, it’s a wake-up call for a reality check. It will be difficult for you to maintain the relationship simply because there will be no further progress; it will become a status quo.

My happiness is not important

Are you a priority for your partner? If you think about all the times that you went first, then you will understand.

If a person does not consider your feelings, not ready or willing to make compromises and sacrifices for a relationship, he will be unable to do it in the future.

Have I tried to fix this

Ask yourself, have I tried to change the situation, or am I just letting things happen because it’s easier? There are no instructions, guidelines, or rules that apply to everyone, only the ones you make yourself when it comes to love.

Sometimes you feel like there is an obligation to try and make the relationship work when in reality, this isn’t something that one can achieve with little effort.

Plan for the future

When two people are in love and have spent years together, they have a common goal, but if they do not have a plan for the future together, it might mean that their relationship will change.

Without a sign of where you will be in five years from now, your love life can also get lost somewhere along the way and become just another piece of your daily routine.

Your family is not supportive

It is a very subjective area that is influenced by many factors. While a relationship is simply about the two of you, you need to ask yourself if you can live on without your family’s blessings. Often, when your parents do not favor your relationship, they just want the best for you and are afraid that this person might harm you somehow.


Are you together because you have been with your partner since a young age, or you do not know how to move on? People are more inclined to stay in relationships they have already put their time into rather than take a step back and analyze what’s wrong.

Many people would rather stay in unhappy relationships instead of confronting their partner and end things. However, if you do not bring up your thoughts and you feel like you are not happy, it is very likely that your partner will notice the change in your attitude.

Lack of respect

Do I feel free to express my opinions, or am I afraid of what he might think of me? If you constantly feel like you’re not good enough and you find yourself apologizing all the time, then it’s your sign that this relationship is toxic.

A respectful and loving relationship should respect your opinions and let you feel free to express yourself at any given moment.

My partner is abusive

1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men have had an abusive partner, which is not even a topic for discussion. There is no excuse for any abusive relationships; when it can happen once, it is almost a guarantee there will be another.

If you are physically, emotionally or sexually abused in any way, you need to step up and take action. There should never be any fear in a relationship, especially not fear what might happen if you speak up or seek help from the authorities.

You are giving more than you take

You can’t quantify how much one gives or takes when you are together, and we’re not talking about material goods or opulence like roses and truffles. The thing is that if you’re the only one doing unique things for your spouse and they never reciprocate or apologize, there can only be so much one can take.

You are no longer the way you are

While everyone can have a negative impact on a relationship, few people are responsible for its creation. It would be best if you never lost sight of yourself, your principles, or your personality in a good relationship.

Change is an inevitable part of life; It’s important to remember that these changes don’t always have to be harmful; they just need to benefit both parties. However, if you are displaying extreme or creating dissatisfaction, jealousy, or enraged behavior, you may want to retake a look at this.

Why is letting go so hard

Moving forward from a relationship usually results in significant uncertainty and potential loneliness. It is never easy to find out that you can’t be with someone anymore, but the other person mustn’t have a hold over you.

While there is no magic pill for breakups which can be extremely difficult, it will always get easier with time.

No one wants to lose someone that was once so special in your life; however, if they are no longer there for you emotionally and physically, it may be time to let them go and move forward to your next relationship.

There is a difference between realizing someone isn’t good enough for you and accepting that the relationship has to end because if this doesn’t happen, you cannot move forward from your past.

Sometimes letting go of a toxic or abusive partner can even become harder than it was in the beginning, which is why you should know where to draw the line.

The first step of moving on is to let go of the obstacles and the feeling that you are giving up something, as this will make it easier for your healing process.

If you need help or advice, contact a professional help who can give you some insight into what’s holding you back from moving on and how you can finally regain control of your life.

When things don’t work out the way you want them to, the right thing for you to do is not let that person own a piece of your heart forever. Understandably, letting go might be difficult.

Letting go of someone is not about forgetting old memories or trying not to think of them; it’s more about letting go of the need to be with that person or the feeling that you yearn for someone who doesn’t want you anymore.

It may sound simple, but this is easier said than done and withdrawing yourself from their presence will require a lot of time and effort, which can take a few months for some.

Letting go is hard for everyone, regardless of the reason or the person. There is nothing wrong but if the relationship is not working out, keep in mind that it is the best way to move forward.

What does letting go mean

Getting out of someone and moving on from a relationship is one of the most challenging things you can go through, but at the same time, it’s also the first step to healing yourself and regaining your independence.

Losing someone is inevitable, as there will always be someone who doesn’t see their worth or anyone else’s. It might sound harsh, but it’s not necessarily your responsibility to “protect” them from themselves or their negative behavior.

Many people worry about how much happier they will be if they finally decide to end things, but they fail to consider what will happen if things don’t work out with this new person either.

You shouldn’t be worried about that part at the beginning of the process, but it is worth thinking over at some point, so you know how far you are willing to go for love and happiness.

You should also understand your emotions a little better from your past mistakes and try to let go of the fear of taking a big step forward.

There will be a sense of closure that comes when you finally accept to let go of someone even though they may still be in your life.

If you are afraid to choose to let go of someone, then the best course of action may be to take some time and understand what you’re thinking and how you feel. It can help you get in touch with yourself, and it just might be the only step that needs to be taken to find your way back from a previous relationship.

If nothing is holding you back from making the right decision, then there is no reason for you to get hung up on the idea of letting go.

You may even end up feeling that it’s a little silly to focus so much time and energy on something like this, especially if they don’t make things any easier on you.

If it had indeed become a toxic relationship, then it’s time to let go. It may take you some time to recover after the same pain subsides, but that happens with everything in life, and it isn’t something that matches up with the relationship you had.

When you’re by yourself for a while, it’s much simpler to consider things. Your emotions might get out of hand and take control, but that’s all right. Give yourself some quiet time; they don’t always make sense, and they’re challenging to manage in the first place, but eventually, you will be able to sort things out.

You should also be aware of what you would gain if you ended things. Is it just an easy way out because the thought of being alone is so scary? You shouldn’t let that be the case because you should never feel alone in this world.

There is always someone out there who would love to have you in their life, and you’re just holding yourself back by not letting go of the other person.

When it comes down to it, figuring out if your relationship with someone is worth it or not isn’t something that should take long or be difficult to work through.

If you try to let go of someone without really thinking about the future and what you want from life anymore, then nothing will change. If you keep going after things that aren’t right for you, your happiness won’t improve.

There are plenty of people out there who can make you happier if you are genuinely willing to let go. If you aren’t willing to do that, then it is time for you to re-evaluate why you are holding on so tightly in the first place.

22 ways to let go of someone

So you have made your decision to move on, and here is what comes after.

We all have different personalities, and it reflects in the way we handle things in our lives.

However, everyone needs some help now and then. So here are 22 ways that you can try out for yourself to ease your pain; they are nothing extreme but instead focus on making peace and helping you get through this phase:

Trust the process

Put no tension on yourself to heal overnight, and there should be no time limit set on the process. It is a step-by-step type of journey on your own time, and if you rush it, then you might do more damage than good.

Let yourself feel whatever you feel.

Many people find breakups difficult because they resist thoughts or feelings bubbled up. It can be so much more effective to accept and recognize how deeply you are hurt.

I understand it can be tough to let these emotions flow freely, mainly if you’ve spent so long trying to control them.

At some point, you will reach a crossroads where you can express whatever needs to be expressed rather than suppressing them. Which for some, it may occur as sobbing or another type of release.

Have a mindful and better life

To have a mindful and better life, you need to first take care of yourself. A great approach to do it is by providing self-care through clothing and grooming. The more you look after yourself, the easier it will be for your mind to accept that this is the new you living a better life without them.

Be kind to yourself

When facing dire circumstances, it’s easy to be reminded that you won’t have the rest of your life to get things in order. Losing a love relationship often feels like euthanasia. It can require very gentle treatment of yourself.

You can go on with your ways and spend time relaxing. It will make you see that there are other fish in the sea.

Focus on yourself-self care

Let go and look at positive things, focus on what you want in your life. It will allow you to see the world from a broader perspective helping you progress and move forward.

Distract yourself from the other person

When a relationship ends, you may find yourself having free time that you’d never had before.

If that’s the case, then use this opportunity to do things you’ve been postponing for so long, such as learning a new language or go for that graduate degree you have been putting off. Maybe it’s time to go traveling and see your friends that you ignored while in a relationship.

Know your self-worth

A breakup reflects negatively on a person’s self-esteem, and it isn’t easy to love yourself. We’re conditioned to believe that happiness comes from the external, from finding the “perfect person.” It means that only then should we start moving forward and form healthier relations.

Establish a morning and night routine

Break up can take a toll on your mental health; you need to establish a morning and night routine, find ways to de-stress like yoga, meditation, and writing your feelings down to take your mind off things to be a happier person.

Making this time for yourself and practicing self-care every day means that the better space you’ll be in when it comes to meeting new people for any potential romantic relationships.

Look around

Remember that the new life you enjoy is not about your love or partner. Think of what you think would spark a new light in you and make the commitment to concentrate instead on the breakup in your life that occupies you right now.

Reframe your definition of forgiveness

Sometimes you can’t let go of feelings from past events, and breakups cause much pain. If you find yourself unable to let go and your thoughts keep returning to the same things, it may be time for you to reframe what forgiveness means in such circumstances.

Remember that forgiving someone else doesn’t mean forgetting about what happened. Still, it means choosing not to allow past events to affect you rediscover the profound meaning and simple joys in life.

Make plans

Invest your time and energy in activities and friends that create value for your life. Planning your journey will bring enthusiasm and curiosity to the world around you. Use this time as a moment to learn to develop your self-confidence and personal development – both as a prospective lover and individual.

Take up a new pastime or make new friends you haven’t spoken to in a while. This chapter of your life should be so eventful that it has divorced you from the one you shared with your spouse. Consider it like finishing the final page of your book.

Let go by learning the lessons

Only imagine how better you can understand someone else when you have more information about their background or a different perspective. It can also help keep track of things you’d want to work on in your future important relationship.

Be practical and accept your grief

Aside from the reunification of a relationship, it is time to say goodbye to our relationship. Reflect on good times and express thankfulness for the relationship, it is a page of the past, and it is time to accept and move on and have a great life.

Go out and meet new people

There are other great people that we will meet with. You have to go out there and meet new people. Sometimes people get a tunnel vision of the person when they are in love.

The move could be a tiny step on the long and challenging way toward healing. Just don’t be scared to see somebody, and don’t get into romance now. Just stop falling out of love again, and you’ll soon realize that people have decent souls to love around.

Reconnect with your values

Changing your attitude about who you were after the breakup and not simply your mind about the relationship and your character.

Take time to consider your most significant, most outstanding values on day two. If you break down current ideals, you might rediscover what you believe without external influence. The exploration of your emotional issues and experiences is essential in overcoming someone you have

Cut them out of your life (but in a specific way)

Feelings of sadness, guilt and longing to be in contact with your ex can last for a long time. It would be best if you cut them out slowly in specific ways that will minimize the other person’s existence.

Take time and remember your journey to reclaim your life from this relationship can not be forced or hurried in any way.

Visualize yourself moving on

Do not be feel anxious but do visualize yourself moving on. If you feel like the breakup is not entirely your decision, it may be hard to visualize yourself with other people.

The final step toward letting go is understanding that there are no simple tricks or fast fixes for getting over someone because every individual responds differently to lose and heartbreak.

Talk it out

It is crucial to focus on your emotions and find someone to talk to about your relationship issues to get over your feelings about someone.

I find friends and relatives tend to offer counter intuitive advice as they mostly do not know the exact reasons; they just want you to move on.

While their intentions are in your interest, it can be frustrating if you need more than lip service; if you are having trouble getting people to listen and provide sound advice, professional assistance could be an excellent option to help.

Rebound with caution

I write practical articles, and if someone tells you to go on and meet someone to move on, I’m going to urge you not to.

Consider it this way:

People break up for various reasons, and casual relationships are also on the top of the list. Imagine if that individual was you; how would you feel if you were the rebound person in the picture?

We are all worthy of excellent, loving relationships with people who see us for who we are and make our lives better. Moving on does not mean you should hurt someone else and vice versa.

Make peace with the past.

Whatever occurred, good or bad, it is now concluded. The emotions may linger, but it’s time to accept the memories as a component of your growth and move on. Let it go and stop the finger-pointing. It will not help you in any way other than creating unnecessary grief.

Think of what life was like when you were single

We were all once single to start with, and you found someone you love. Sadly things did not work out, and you are back to square one. Think and ask yourself what the things that you enjoyed most when you were single.

Reflect on what it takes to be in a great relationship

When you choose to let go of someone, you are also learning and moving on to a new stage of your life. Look and reflect on things you could have done better and take them with you on your next journey.

Final thoughts on how to let go of someone

The most effective approach to let go is to make peace. If you’re not in a position to do so or just waiting for the right moment, try these 14 questions to find out why letting go is so complicated and what it means when someone tells me they’ve given up their past. Maybe your “whys” can be answered with this list of questions.

Do not forget that your past experiences do not have to impact the future ones and if you feel that letting go of someone is just too painful; there are ways to overcome this pain without causing damage on either side of the spectrum.


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