40 must-have long term goals for relationships and marriage

40 must-have long term goals for relationships and marriage


Goals for relationships have always been an important part of any growing relationship. Whether you are dating or planning your life together, it’s easy to get caught up in the moment. The truth is, having goals is to guide your relationship, even if they are shared goals.

There are no guarantees in life, of course, but there are specific actions that one can take to better their relationships and marriage.

What are smart goals for relationships

There is no one size fits all definition, as every couple and relationship varies tremendously. A goal for one couple may be completely different from the next couples’ goals. Many couples consider goals a vital part of their relationship and use them to make decisions together. Setting goals in relationships can help you better anticipate how things will proceed as a couple in the future.

Long term goals for relationships are fundamental as it helps give couples a sense of direction where they are heading, and what they want to accomplish. It offers them a chance to make sacrifices and choices together to achieve their goals in relationships.

Recognize that you may be at various levels of maturity

Life stages with age differences can be challenging to deal with when it comes to setting goals. They require patience and understanding from both individuals and a willingness for the two parties to learn how each other works. When dealing with life stages where there is an age difference, it’s vital to realize that you may not always be on the same level of maturity, which is perfectly fine!

Accepting your partner for who they are, goes a long way in making it easier for them to get your differences and make compromises. Although it may be hard to find common ground in your relationship, you must try to understand each other. It’s not always easy to know what the other person wants or needs because people are different and can have very different values.

If there is one thing that will help you get through this difficult time with grace and understanding is recognizing where both of your maturity levels stand right now. You need to know what you can expect out of your partner and also what you should expect from yourself, be reasonable.

It takes time to learn new lessons and grow into a better individual. Being patient with each other and willing to learn are critical relationship goals.

Learn your partner’s primary love language

There are 5 love languages that one needs to know when it comes to setting goals. Knowing your partner’s love languages can be beneficial for understanding what makes them feel most loved.

The 5 love languages include:

  • Quality time – being with each other and giving each other your full attention.
  • Words of affirmation – using words that build up who you are as a person. It includes compliments, kind words, encouragement, etc.
  • Receiving gifts – showing your love for your partner by giving them small gifts and surprises throughout the year.
  • Acts of service – doing little things daily to make your partner feel loved, such as cooking or cleaning.
  • Physical touch – this includes kissing, hugging, holding hands, etc.

Remember, not everyone’s methods of expressing love and affection are the same as yours, and vice versa. However, learning to understand the love language can help us build a stronger relationship. It will encourage both of you, and because when love languages apply, it becomes clear that they are putting forth an effort and care about satisfying your demands.

Types of goals for relationships

When looking at the goal-setting process for relationships, one must understand and remember that goals are intended to be flexible, and there are different goals for various stages of a relationship, such as

  • Goals for relationships and marriage
  • Goals for family relationships
  • Goals for long distance relationships
  • Long term relationship goals
  • Short term relationship goals

While there are many things to keep in mind when it comes to setting goals with your partner, such as making sure they understand the way you like to be loved and appreciated. You have to come up with a realistic plan and make sure that your partner is involved in those decisions.

Every relationship is unique, and while some goals may work for one couple, they might not work for another. That’s why striving to meet the demands of your significant other is so important. Even when you try to reach through compromise, you can still feel like you are on opposite ends of the spectrum.

Fear of commitment in relationships

Some couples may get frightened about the idea when they talk about goals in a relationship. It points to a certain amount of commitment for some. It can be terrifying to start a new life with someone; however, if you are both willing to work together, it will be an experience you will cherish for the rest of your lives.

Take it easy and increase openness in your relationship if you’re having difficulties with your partner. It can be a make or break for some people, so be cautious about approaching the situation. Give each other time; you don’t need to have a long list of objectives when you begin. Start with something that your partner is OK with and work your way up from there.

Taking this metaphor further, think of life as the journey on some far-off road trip, where new things appear at every turn.

A goal for any couple is to keep that motivation and drive alive 

Plans vary according to how you want your life together to progress. Some may want it to remain even, while others may wish for it to go faster.

In any case, having clear goals from the get-go is a great guidepost that will help you determine the directions your relationship takes and how much commitment you have towards each other.

Goals for dating couples

In a dating relationship, it is important to be flexible and keep your goals realistic. In the early stages of a relationship, you don’t want to make any promises that you cannot keep. It’s perfectly natural to be hopeful, but take things slowly until you’re confident your partner is someone worth investing in and comfortable.

Whether or not you have been dating for years or just a few short months, it’s essential to take some time to get to know each other before you start making any significant commitments. Establishing goals with your partner during the early stages of dating can help avoid complications and heartbreak in the future. Here are some examples of goals for dating couples:

Goals involving personal development:

  • Learn more about your partner and their family
  • Take time to spend with each other’s friends and family
  • Go on double dates or group dates; they are great for getting to know your partner in a group setting
  • Travel together
  • Try new things together, whether it is food or an activity you’ve both been curious about
  • Start a hobby together; whether it is art or cooking, it will be something you get to share

Goals that involve your relationship:

  • Get to know each other’s friends and family
  • Dating exclusively before moving in together or getting married
  • Be open, and understanding of one another’s goals and dreams
  • Respect each other’s privacy
  • Be honest about your feelings and always let the other person know they are loved

Goals involving your future together:

  • Communicate about your future goals, whether it is having children or moving to another country
  • Learn more about each other’s work life and what helps them to succeed
  • Understand the importance of spending quality time with each other
  • Keep an open mind for any changes that may come up in life. People change, adapt accordingly
  • Making goals with your partner so that you’re working together toward a common goal. It will create a feeling of excitement and strengthen your bond as a couple

Goals that involve quality time:

  • Have lunch or dinner together each week without distractions
  • Take walks together and talk about the things you want to do, see or accomplish
  • Plan a date night every week that involves enjoying an activity you both enjoy together
  • Prioritize family time with your partner’s family if they are involved in their lives

Goals for long-distance relationships

When you are in a long-distance relationship, it can prove challenging to maintain your relationship without the constant physical contact that is often expected. Having goals together will help guide you through obstacles that come up along the way. Here are some examples of goals for dating couples:

Goals involving physical contact:

  • Plan a visit with your partner’s parents or family; they always welcome you if you’re part of their loved one’s life
  • Start a tradition together, such as sending each other good morning texts or baking something tasty on Fridays
  • Skype dates, when necessary, are a great way to keep in touch with your partner when you can’t physically be close.

Goals involving emotional intimacy:

  • Keep an open line of communication with each other, whether it is through text messages or phone calls
  • Offer support and comfort when the other person needs someone to lean on
  • Create intimacy by initiating hugs and kisses more often

Goals that focus on communication:

  • Set a day or night each week where you two take time to update each other with your lives and the things going on with them
  • Have weekly check-ins with one another will ensure you’re both staying on track
  • Send funny pictures and videos of your day, as they can create a sense of excitement and intimacy

Goals involving time:

  • Set aside a day or night each week where you two take time to update each other with your lives and the things going on with them
  • Plan visits together, whether it’s meeting up or Skype dates.
  • Learn how to work as a team when necessary; nothing is too big that you can’t handle it together.

Goals involving safety:

  • Create a list of emergency numbers to keep in close contact, whether it is a family member or a friend you both know
  • Have a code word that you two can use if ever you feel uncomfortable or need help, no matter where the other person is at the time
  • Take your time with your significant other, you’re not going anywhere, and it’s essential to value the relationship.

Goals for relationships and marriage

Whether you have been married for a year or several decades, you need to reassess your goals with each other continuously. The early stages of marriage revolve around honeymoons and getting adjusted to living together.

Stay in tune with what your partner needs from you and what you need from them. When it comes to goals for married couples, there are some relationship goals that work better than others. You must learn to set smart goals for relationships that can be very helpful.

Goals involving communication:

  • Speak about your feelings even if it’s not comfortable at first
  • Express gratitude towards each-other frequently
  • Agree to disagree sometimes, although this can be difficult when you both have strong opinions
  • Create a safe space for each other; this means no harsh words and no judgment

Goals involving your future together:

  • Plan financial goals together, including retirement funds and insurance
  • Invest in a family vacation that you can look forward to every year
  • Be open about everything from your past to the small things that bother you at this moment
  • Agree on relationship rules and make sure to respect them

Goals involving intimacy:

  • Spend time alone together, even if it’s just cuddling on the couch
  • When out and about, hold hands.
  • Set a date night for intimacy and use this as a way of reconnecting with each other
  • Make time for physical intimacy, even if it doesn’t come as often for some

Goals involving children: (if applicable)

  • Be open and honest about how many kids you want to have and when
  • Agree on the values you want to instill in your children and make sure that they are being followed
  • Agree on how you will discipline and educate your children, and make sure to follow through with this plan

Goals for married couples can either be life-long goals or short-term goals. The important thing is that both of you know what the other wants and needs from the relationship so that you (and your partner) can be happy.

40 relationship goals examples

Relationships are complicated, but as we all know, it is a very rewarding journey. It can take a lot of hard work to stay together, and sometimes the minor things can make or break your relationship. Whether you’re in an established marriage or just starting, here are some relationship goal examples that will help you to be successful at relationships!

Remember, not every goal is for everyone, pick and choose which you both agree with the most.

Learn to compromise

When setting goals as a couple, you’re going to run into some roadblocks. It’s crucial that both parties try their best to work towards the same purpose but that you can compromise when needed.

Looking past minor annoyances

Everyone can be annoying at times. When you’re constantly frustrated with your partner’s behavior, it can be difficult to look past some of your partner’s annoying habits. There are different ways to handle them. If the annoyance is something they have no control over, you have to try to be more understanding.

Talk About Your Relationship Often

It’s important to talk about how things are going in your life and see what can be improved. If you’re able to talk about your relationship, it will be much easier to deal with the issues that come up.

Embrace imperfection

The things that annoy you about your partner aren’t going to change. Instead, embrace them for what they are. Learn to accept your loved ones’ imperfection and love them for it.

Recognize each other’s strengths

Accept your partner’s shortcomings as well as their positive qualities. At the same time, recognize and appreciate your assets while looking for methods to enhance them both.

Recognize each other’s needs and feelings

Each person may have different emotional, physical, social, and spiritual needs. Knowing what makes each other tick is the best way to build a healthy relationship. After all, if you don’t know what makes your partner comfortable or happy, how can you meet their needs?

Align on core values and beliefs

Everyone has different core values and beliefs. We are learning to understand that everyone is different, and each other’s core values are a great way to build a strong foundation for a healthy future together.

Make each other a priority

Everyone has many things competing for their time and attention. And sometimes, those other things can take priority over your partner. Make sure that you put each other first before anyone or anything else at the end of the day.

Be vulnerable

Everyone has certain aspects of their lives that they don’t like to share with others. If you can’t be vulnerable about them and accept your partner’s vulnerability, you won’t get very far in your relationship.

Be proud of each other

It’s important to encourage one another and build up your partner whenever they do something great. Likewise, they should do the same for you, too. Being proud of each other is a great way to fuel both your personal and professional growth together.

Have emotional management

For both people to have a successful relationship, they need to manage their own emotions. If one person constantly brings up issues that the other person refuses to deal with, it can make it hard for them to continue growing.

Be fearless in love

It’s important to look at your relationship, be content with what you have, and continue growing together. Being fearless in love is all about being open to change and new experiences while remaining loyal.

Avoid ‘I’ statements

Both parties to be able to listen when the other person is speaking without interrupting. If you’re always using statements such as “I feel” or “I think,” then it can make it hard for them to listen and respond.

Be mindful

It’s important when communicating with your partner that they know that they are being heard. It makes for a much more positive conversation if you both show that you’re listening when the other person is speaking.

Mutual respect

If you’re always relying on your partner to change for you, then it’s not going to work out. Instead of constantly pointing out what your partner can do better or differently, try focusing on how both of you can find the solution to any problems together.

You are enough

It’s easy when in a relationship to lose yourself and rely too much on your partner. For you both to grow together, it’s important that you know that they are enough and you don’t need anybody else but them.

Give each other some space

Just because you’re dating or living together doesn’t mean that you have to be glued at the hip all the time. Learn to give each other some space when needed is a must in all healthy relationships.

Create a shared vision

Having a goal or ambition can be great for both of your personal growth. When the 2 of you create something to work towards, it can help you to feel more connected. Plus, setting goals together is just plain sexy!


Your partner is your best friend. You need to be able to be there for them through thick and thin. The foundation on which your relationship is built is friendship.

Be each other’s biggest supporters

No one likes being criticized all of the time. If someone tries something new or different, be supportive even if you disagree with what they are doing. Make sure your partner knows you are their biggest supporter.

Never go to sleep angry at each other

After any fights or issues you have with one another, sit down and talk out your differences. Make sure not to let things fester overnight. It will only make your problems worse when either one of you starts to avoid each other.

Be honest with each other

Always be honest with your significant other, even if it means being vulnerable. If you’re both afraid to open up about your feelings, then it’s going to be hard for either of you to feel satisfied with the relationship.

Never stop learning

When you start to feel comfortable in your relationship, it’s easy to stop continuously learning about each other. Make sure you try new things together and continue growing as individuals.

Undivided attention

It’s easy to check out when you’re spending time with your significant other. Make sure you both give each other the full attention that you deserve throughout when you are together.

Set goals as a couple and individual goals

Whether as a team or individually, having goals is excellent for sparking passion and keeping both partners interested. When both partners know what they want and where they’re going, it can be a lot easier for them to help guide one another.

Spend quality time together

Make time for one another throughout the week, whether it be dinner or a walk. Spending quality time together is vital for any successful relationship.

Don’t lose touch with friends

After being in a relationship for so long, it’s easy to get caught up in spending all of your free time with your partner. Don’t lose touch with friends and family, as they can help you stay grounded and feel normal.

Be optimistic to each other

When you’re with someone who has a long-term vision for what they are trying to achieve, there’s no reason to be pessimistic. Be an optimist about the future so that your partner can continue reaching their goals.

Less texting/calling/emailing

It’s important to step away from technology and talk to each other face-to-face. Texting, calling, or emailing is great for random questions or quick conversations, but going a day without any of those things can be healthy as it forces you to communicate more in person.

Don’t bring up past mistakes

Yes, one can learn from what happened before, but it’s equally important that you don’t keep bringing up past mistakes. By bringing up something that someone did in the past, only hurts the future of your relationship.

Have weekly date nights

Plan a weekly date night where you can leave everything behind and focus on each other. Whether it’s at home or out on the town, make sure you’re both giving each other undivided attention.

Say and do little things for each other

It’s the little things that count when in a relationship. That could be a text message or a phone call to see how they are doing in the middle of your day. Those little acts go a long way in showing someone that they’re cared about and loved unconditionally.

Don’t complain about future plans

You might not be able to see eye-to-eye on certain things. Having a pessimistic outlook might make your significant other feels unappreciated and lead to trust issues in the relationship.

Feel each other’s pain

During a fight or a crisis, both need to feel each other’s pain. That means if they are going through something, then your partner should know and vice versa. Understanding where the other person is coming from can help resolve the conflict between the two of you.

Stay away from unhealthy patterns

Relationships can take a turn for the worst when both people start falling into unhealthy patterns. Watch out for critical red flags like jealousy, infidelity, neediness, and emotional distance. These traits can ruin any relationship if both people aren’t careful about what they’re doing.

Keep the physical connection going

In a long-term relationship, it’s easy to let the physical connection fade away. Whether you’re both busy or just don’t feel like having sex that week, keep that part of your relationship alive by trying new things and keeping physical intimacy moments an ongoing priority.

Speak Positively About Each Other

It’s important to remember all of the good things that your partner does for you, even if it’s something simple like grocery shopping or taking out the trash. Try to speak positively about each other as much as possible because having a positive outlook on life could be the key to your relationship happiness.

Create A Collaboration, Not A Competition

Having two people in a relationship doesn’t mean that it’s OK to slack off when chores are around the house. Make it your duty to create a partnership rather than seeing who can do more work around the house.

Use equal terms

Don’t use phrases like “my job” or “my friends.” Instead, try to think of what you do as a team. You are playing for one team, so don’t act as if you are doing everything yourself. Use phrases like “our jobs” and “our friends.”

Final thoughts on goals for relationships

With the right mindset and goals, you can help your relationship grow. It is essential to recognize that there are different levels of maturity, and every relationship is different. Understanding your partner’s love language can assist you in forming suitable goals for one another.

In a relationship, you are with the person because of who they are, not what they can do for you. Never forget why the two of you got together in the first place and never lose sight of each other’s needs in life.

The 40 relationship goals will be able to help you get started on the right track. Whether you’re newly dating or have been with your significant other for years, these goals can help you take a step back and ask yourself how to improve the relationship.

Keeping the passion alive is incredibly important in a relationship. Use these tips so that both of you can start thinking about each other’s happiness and work together as a team.


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